No Assholes Allowed

I felt like my last two posts were obnoxiously opinionated, which I really try not to be. If you haven't read them, you can find them here and here. I am a sarcastic little bitch at times, which has landed me in trouble on numerous occasions. Normally, I don't feel too bad about it, but lately I have been feeling a bit guilty.

Okay, not that guilty, but enough to notice.

My post titled "Dirty Laundry" was witty, if I do say so myself, but also so hypocritical because I still find myself in rainbow printed socks regularly and secretly would kill for a pair of Vans sneakers. I should have clarified that, so if anyone felt super-self conscious after reading it, I am sorry. Also, I am a firm supporter of being yourself and doing whatever the hell you want. So if you like wearing your high school sports team jacket five years after you've graduated, you go Glen Coco.

As for my post about the legalization of marijuana in New Hampshire, I don't really care how many people hated me after reading it. Although, I should say, it truthfully doesn't matter to me if the bill passes or not. I am neither yea or nay, particularly because it doesn't affect me whatsoever. I don't dabble in the Devil's grass, but I know plenty of people who do, who I care for deeply. I just feel like there are so many other avenues of concern that people should focus on, and it saddens me that legalizing pot is amongst their top priorities.

Okay, that's it. I will put it to rest.

On another note that has been rattling around in my brain since last weekend, someone told me I am standoffish and too uptight.

"You need to loosen up. You have a blockade of walls around you."

I hate it when someone says something that makes you question your judgement or who you are, in general. I have never considered myself to be standoffish or uptight. I feel like I am fairly open-minded and down-to-earth. I like to believe I am, anyway. I strive to be, too.

As for the blockade of walls, my response was, "Yeah! With good reason."

Maybe I do come off as standoffish, maybe even cold. I never used to be like that...

I don't like to sit around and cry for pity, because in all actuality my life is not terrible, nor has it ever been. I had my fair share of personal battles that I had to overcome, and a lot of them were social ones, because not too long ago, I was sixteen, and my social life trumped everything else. However, in the past year I have spent a lot of time weeding out the negative people and energy I had in my life, and replaced them with people and things that mattered. I don't like to let a lot of people in, because too many times my trust was betrayed and I mended and re-mended bonds that weren't worth my time.

Not that I think I'm amazing either, because I am flawed just like every other human being, but the human being I am is a sacred one, and she only deserves the best. She doesn't have time for the people who are only out to use and abuse her. She's much better than that.

It took me a long time to come around to that conclusion, but it's true.

So maybe to the outside world I come off as cold and standoffish. Maybe my walls are completely visible and apparent, but I'm okay with that.

At least my walls are big and mighty, complete with a sign that hangs on the bolted shut door. It reads, "No Assholes Allowed"