Girls can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. I say this, because I know; I am one. However, I've always strived to be better, and put a good brand on what girls are and should be; strong, independent, respectable, and intelligent.
As many of you probably know, I went to a very small high school. I graduated with 37 people in my grade, and that's a combined number from 4 different towns.
I was talking, last night, with a girl I graduated with. Her and I didn't talk much until senior year, and I'd say we became fairly good friends in our last year of high school. Now that we will be working together for the summer, I'd say we most likely will become somewhat close friends again. Anyway, we got to talking about social groups and the friends we had in high school. I mentioned something how I never felt like Profile had different cliques, but more of a divide between social groups: the people who played sports and the people who were in band/choir. Then there were a few people who fit into both, me being one of them.
I would get so caught up, though, sometimes. I had a few close girlfriends, but there was always some form of drama. And, for some reason, I would become so upset if they were "mad" at me. I constantly would feel out of place around their perfect tanned bodies, and beautifully crafted and made up faces. My style was usually more bohemian, and theirs always trending from Hollister or Abercrombie. I was the third choice when it came to boys. If they couldn't have either of them, then they'd usually move onto me and give their best shot at acting like I was actually some form of interesting. By that time, I was usually so pissed off I'd snap back some snide remark to get them away from me.
Looking back on it now, I think that I put a lot of other friendships on the back burner so I could focus on being accepted by my "friends." Since graduation, I've lost touch with those girls whom I was so close to, or thought I was. If we were still in Profile, I'd probably be completely perturbed by the fact that they aren't talking to me or inviting me places. But the more I think about it now, I really just don't care. In a way, I'm actually kind of glad they aren't my friends anymore, since they never were very good ones to begin with.
One of them has stabbed me in the back so many times it's a surprise I even allow myself to let her name enter my thoughts anymore. The other one is just selfish, and too concerned with her own image to realize she hurts other people in the process. People like me.
It's all water under the bridge now, I suppose. I don't feel that I need to confront them and say, "Hey, I don't want to be friends anymore." I think my silence is the loudest response.
To my true few, Nicole, Hilary, Anthony, Ben and Salty: I love you, and thank you for all your love, support, and laughs. I know you all care for me too, because I know you're reading this.
