A few weeks ago, in my current social work geared class, we were talking about grief. I've had a few people in my life die; my grandfather and a former teacher of mine. My grandpa hurt, but I was so young at the time, it's hard to remember it all. I remember him, and that's what is important. My teacher's death hit me hard, because he became much more of a friend in the recent months leading up to his sudden passing. But even so, the last time I talked to him was a week before he went, and it was a really wonderful conversation. So I'm okay with it. I considered myself "lucky" in the sense that I haven't had much pain from loss.
Until today.
It is with great sadness that I report the death of our beloved cat, Bo. I have never felt such emptiness and pain. I have always said that life is weird, but my God, sometimes it's just flat out cruel. What does somebody do to deserve this? Why are our poor helpless babies so suddenly ripped from our lives without any warning? How is that fair?
My mom - God bless her - the woman is the strongest person alive. I'm sure everyone says that about somebody they know, but the word takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to to my mom. Bo was the love of her life; soul mates. Is there any valid reason to explain why this had to happen to her? Lately, she and I have been subject to so many changes, both wanted and unwanted changes. And, whether we agree to them or not, change is always stressful. After all the ultra-stressful changes we've been experiencing lately, why did this area of our life have to change too?
It's just so difficult to understand. My heart hurts; a piece of my being is missing. I have lost pets in the past. My thirteen-year-old dog Curry was difficult to say goodbye to, but she lived a long and amazing life, so that made it a little bit easier. But Bo was only five; he would have been six at the end of the month. When friends of mine have had animals pass away, I of course felt bad, but maybe not as bad as I should have felt.
I watched a video earlier in the week about empathy and sympathy, and the difference between the two. One part that stands out to me is the idea that when expressing empathy, the words "at least" are never involved.
At least you still have another cat.
At least it wasn't a family member.
At least you have the dogs.
The thing is, there is no "at least" in this equation. Yes, we have another cat, but she isn't our Bo. No other kitty will ever be like him. He was a family member. He added so much to the dynamic of our family unit! The only male in our bunch... And yes, we have the dogs, but they aren't cats.
I love Bo, he was such an amazing and unique cat. But, he was closest to my mom. And although I hurt from the tragedy of it all, I hurt even more because she hurts. On top of that, we both hurt the most for our other cat, Frenchie. She's lost her best friend; her companion. The poor thing spent half the day attached to my mom, and the other half sleeping upstairs. Alone. She hasn't had any desire to go outside and hasn't even touched her food. She is mourning. We all are.
In my creative writing class, we've currently been focusing on poetry. It is not my most confident area of writing, but I love poetry and appreciate it. As this morning unfolded into the heartbreak that it ended up becoming, my mom asked if I would write a poem about Bo. I found it fitting to write an ode.
Behind a plexiglass window sat a little furry creature,
he was waiting for his forever home.
And when we walked in and saw him there,
we knew that our search was over.
She pressed her hand to the window; a peace offering,
he accepted, pressing his paw up to the glass.
It wasn't long until we all fell in love with him,
and his sassy, boyish face.
A love-bug, he was always up for snuggling,
and kneading your belly if you let him.
If the food bowl was empty he could be a pest,
but it added to his charisma.
The sweetest king in the jungle,
he always watched out for his queen.
Although he is gone much too soon,
his life was filled with love, kisses and fun.
We will miss him for the rest of our days,
and hold the memory of him close to our hearts.
One day we will all be together again,
but in the meantime we are thankful for the time we had.
The baby boy, he will never be forgotten,
our love for him is unconditional and never ending.
May your soul rest in peace, Bo-Bo. We love you so much.
