Saturday, May 21, 2016

News

Spring is a time for new beginnings, I guess. I feel like people are always looking for an excuse to start again in new years, new months, new moons, new seasons. They are all the same: false agendas we create for ourselves in hopes that we do all the things we said we were going to last year, last month, last moon cycle, or last season.

I try not to wrap myself up in a set schedule for new growth or opportunity. Instead, I like to stand still in the place I'm in, and take my new year, new month, new moon, or new season to reflect back on where I used to be, compared to where I am in that moment.

I created this blog to force myself into sharing my writing; it was the ice cold river I had been standing on a cliff above for so long, and I had to jump in. I began writing here in hopes I would say the things I've always wanted people to hear, but was too afraid to say. So far, it's worked. I'm still not sure if they're listening, though.

This blog was so minuscule at first; so simple. Yet, it is the public diary I have written in through some of the hardest years of my life. It has been a platform to share my most intimate thoughts and feelings, without fearing the very real possibility that people would judge and scrutinize it. Or worse, me.

This blog was created by a terrified, confused, and extremely lost eighteen-year-old girl, claiming it was her "Grown-Up Experience." She had no idea... she still doesn't.

She was just this kid, trying to make sense of her life through words. She still is, except now, she has more direction, more clarity, and less fear. I suppose that's really what "The Grown-Up Experience" is all about, right?