Thanksgiving has never been a huge holiday in my house. My mom dreaded when she had to cook a huge meal for us, and the only part of the meal I was ever interested in were the rolls. My mom was a stay-at-home mom for about five years until she began her current job as a waitress. She started working at the inn when I was about fourteen. Since then, I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my mom. She has worked every holiday for practically six years. When I started working there, I would take her Christmas morning shift so she could sleep in. Then, I would come home and open presents, and eventually make my way over to my dad's house. This has been the norm for me, and for the most part, I don't mind.
I have always thought of Thanksgiving and Easter as pointless holidays. They are just excuses to cook food, and to be honest, I have viewed them as significantly sexist. The women are supposed to cook these lavish meals while the men sit around getting drunk and watching football.
Yay.
I know that isn't the case in every household, but I'm just painting a picture as to why my mom was always a bit perturbed each time she had to cook a very unappreciated meal.
I enjoy the artistic aspect of Easter - coloring eggs is fun. But, not coming from a particularly religious family, we skip out on the fancy meal and family time. And, up until today, I kind of grouped Thanksgiving in with Easter, thinking it was stupid and a waste of time. After all, it is just a celebration of the pilgrims using the Native Americans for all they were worth, then pillaging the shit out of them.
Am I right or am I right?
But, in the midst of scrolling through Facebook on the daily, I see people participating in the "28 Days of Thankfulness" or something of that sort. I first brushed them off, kind of wishing they'd all shut up. But, a friend of mine was very dedicated to it, and I truly enjoyed reading what she had to say. She was thankful for some really valid reasons, and I appreciated that.
I think that us human beings can become so caught up in the negatives. Our society runs on the idea of money and success; the more you have, the better you are. This invisible bar in life is set so God damn high, it's impossible to reach unless you are a super-genius or a professional scam artist (example; click here). Because of this phantom aspiration that seems to rule us all, we are continually left unsatisfied; disappointed. There is no time to count our blessings, or show gratitude towards the people and positives we do have in our lives. We are the age of constant hurry, yet constant struggle. Everything is a race, except nobody wins.
But, seeing the status updates filled with thankfulness has inspired me to reflect on my positives. I am just as human as the rest of our culture, and find myself drowning in the negatives from day to day. Tonight, there will be no negative, there will only be gratitude.
I am so thankful for my health. As another American without health insurance, I am considerably grateful to be in good health. I'm thankful for my friends; old and new. Ben, Hilary, Nicole, Salty, and Leslie: you are my people. Thank you for being my people. Danielle, Ashley, Meg, Tory, Owen and Jack: school is cool because you are all cool. Thank you. To my boyfriend who has stuck with me through the craziest of transitions after transitions, Anthony: I love you, thank you for all you do. You make my world much brighter. Of course, my family: Mom, Erin and Pop (Daddy). I love you three with all my heart and more. My own personal set of stabilizing rocks who shine like jewels, I would do anything for all of you. I am thankful for my education, because there were points where I strayed away from it, but I have found my way back and it lights a pretty damn hot fire under my ass. I am going to be somebody someday because I decided to re-apply to college. I am thankful for both my jobs. Although I am spending my Thanksgiving serving people their meals, I am able to spend the day with my mom and make some money while I am at it. Thank you to the inn for taking me back after all this time, and giving me a job when the need for one is high and the options are slim. Thank you to the ski club, you have been my family for as long as I can remember, and I am so grateful that I can be apart the staff as I enter my adult life. I am thankful for the kids I have in my ski group, you all are too cute and so full of youth. I am inspired by you everyday. Maci, my doggie, I love you! Thank you for making me smile, and wearing all the sweaters I buy you. I am thankful for my landlord, because my house is wonderful and feels like a home, which I haven't experienced in a long time. I give thanks to my intelligence, because even when I feel like a complete moron, I somehow can depict a lesson from it all and turn it into something creative and productive. Without that, I would go even more insane that I know I already am. Meloni and Alan, you have been there for my mom and me through possibly the most difficult times of our lives, and without your kindness and open hearts, I'm not so sure where we would be. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of the birth of your son, because it was truly incredible (and very educational, haha). As petty as it may be, I am thankful for the materialistic aspects of my life too; my car, my computer and my cell phone. They allow me to connect with others and do my work for school, as well as transport me there! Thank you to everyone who has supported me and continues to. Anyone who every gave me a metaphorical - or physical - pat on the back, thank you. You are the stamina that drives me to work towards what I truly want in life. It is the kind words of friends, and strangers, who believe in what I do that keeps me from falling into trenches of doubt. But also, thank you to everyone who never believed in me. Thank you to all the liars, backstabbers and crabs in the bucket who only wanted to bring me down. You have all strengthened me and allowed me to prosper into the confident young woman I am, and continue to become. Thank you for the motivation, because I look forward to proving you all wrong.
To everyone who takes the time to read my blogs, thank you. I may not know who you are, but you add to the ticker on my dashboard, and with each read I am filled with warmth, because you make me feel like what I write matters. I want you to know that although your viewing may feel insignificant to you, it means everything and more to me.
So, thanks.
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