I Just Needed to Vent

So, I have this friend.

And this isn't one of those things where someone says "I have this friend," and they're really referring to themselves, in this case, I really do have a friend I'm talking about.

Anyway, him and I have been close since we were 13. He was my first boyfriend, but since then we've just been best friends.

Well, sometimes he makes me extremely angry and one time I made him really angry, so I guess we're kind of extreme friends; we either love each other or hate each other.

Regardless of what kind of mood our friendship is in, I care about him a lot. I'd lay down and die for him. In fact, tonight, he informed me he was sleeping at a bus stop, and without hesitation I offered to give him my debit card number so he could get a hotel room. Being the stubborn asshole he usually is, he denied. I know he just wants to live through the night to tell people about it.

He's really special to me though. It's the kind of instance where if he hurts, I hurt. When his girlfriend broke up with him, even though she was one of my closest friends, I was truly angry at her and heartbroken for him. She hurt him, so therefore, she messed with me.

Which is why I'm so protective. People often mistake it as jealousy but it's nothing of the sort. It's fear, I guess. I get all "Mother Lion" when I think someone's messing with him.

Or his heart.

Which is why I hate every girl he ever shows interest in. I'm sure maybe under all their Abercrombie & Fitch, makeup, and hair products they're decent people.

Or they aren't.

He's not just one of those people who likes outdoor activities, he's one of those people who loves outdoor activities so much that it might kill him. He's an extremest in every sense of the word. He's the only person I've ever met who wears mountain biking protection to go tele boarding.

Come to think of it, he's the only person I've ever met who tele boards so out-of-control-fast that he needs to wear mountain biking protection.

He's a complete smart ass. He gets so under your skin to the point that you just want to smack him. But when you do, he somehow squirms out of the way and avoids the blow.

He's also witty, intelligent, and passionate about basically everything he's interested in.

What I'm trying to say is, he's unique.

Yet, he goes for these completely superficial girls. It's not that they're out of his league, it's just that they aren't even in the same ball park. I don't mean that in a negative way, I mean that in the sense that they are nothing alike. He sets himself up to fail. To be "friendzoned." To get his heart broken.

To break my heart.

Besides me, he's had one other real girlfriend, the one I referred to before. God, she broke his heart. They were so perfect. I wish it worked out. But, she's my friend too and I understand why it didn't. And, I try to explain it to him still, 2 years later. She was close to what he needs, but still, he needs the female version of him.

I'll never meet anyone as crazy, weird, hilarious, and exciting as him. But I hope so much that he finds a girl who at least comes close.

He deserves to be happy, but it frustrates me so much that he keeps putting himself in positions to fail with these stupid girls. And it drives me crazy, so I come off as a raging bitch. Then our extreme cycle of friendship continues.

But I'm not a raging bitch, I'm just protective like I said before. Mother Lion.

I guess this post is going nowhere, kind of like his attempts with the Barbie dolls.

I just needed to vent.